Friday, August 30, 2013

Are You Ready For The Ultimate Insidious Experience!?

Insidious Chapter 2 - banner image

Heya, Hipsters!

I'm sure a number of you have already heard about this, but Insidious Chapter 2 releases on Friday, September 13th...but select theaters around the country are offering a double-feature showing Insidious 1 & 2 back to back!  And, it's a day early, showing on Thursday the 12th.  I was hoping that our local drive-in would be among the select theaters, but no such luck.  Still, the wife and I may be in attendance depending on my work schedule.

I won't copy-and-paste the entire press release, but click HERE to find a participating theater near you.

--J/Metro

Monday, August 26, 2013

Movie Review: Silent But Deadly (2011)

Silent But Deadly
Silent But Deadly - DVD cover image

Written by Lori Kelly, David Pluscaskas, Joel Plue & Erin Berry
Directed by Stephen Scott

Thomas...Jason Mewes
Sandra...Kim Poirier
Bobby...Marc Hickox
Sheriff Shelby...Jordan Prentice

Thomas is a slow-witted farmboy whose only friend is his pet goat Lisa. After falling ass-backwards into a personal assistant gig with a movie crew filming in his rural town, Thomas loses the only thing he loved when Lisa wanders into the craft services tent and becomes dinner. Utilizing a number of unorthodox implements, Thomas sets off on a killing spree in search of goat vengeance.

The title alone should give you some hint of what you're in for in this movie--primarily a lot of crude and juvenile humor, spaced out by the occasional death scene. It opens on a gratuitous lesbian love scene and it's all downhill from there, relying on racially insensitive (and not even amusing) jokes, toilet talk, and overall immature activity.

Silent But Deadly - Jason Mewes as Thomas

I wanted to like this movie, although I knew full well that I would not. I like Jason Mewes, not only from his Kevin Smith flicks but also from their podcasts together, but not even my desire to see him succeed could save this mess from self-destruction. Mewes' performance wasn't bad, actually, though he was mostly silent, save for the occasional grunting of his next weapon of choice--"pitchfork" or "delicatessen meat slicer", for instance. Marc Hickox and Kim Poirier were also good, doing what they could with the material at hand.

For the record, I'm not against crude humor or horror comedies so long as they are, you know...funny. With Silent but Deadly, though, I never LOL'ed, never guffawed, never chortled, never snickered, never giggled. Hell, I never even grinned. All of the humor fell flat for me, and the only time I was ever amused was during the death scenes.

Silent But Deadly - William Sadler, pitchforked

The death scenes are the only thing this movie has to offer. They are over-the-top, creative, and bloody as hell, much in the vein of Hatchet or Simon Says. Yes, they were obviously achieved through bargain-bin CGI, but they were still pretty fantastic.

It's just too bad we had to wade through so much sewage to get to the shit we wanted to see.

Special thanks to Inception Media Group for the screener!
Silent But Deadly releases on DVD & VOD September 24, 2013.

2011
Not Rated
80 Minutes
English
Color
Canada

--J/Metro

Saturday, August 24, 2013

Goodies In The Mail!


Silent But Deadly

Introverted loner Thomas Capper (Jason Mewes, Clerks I & II, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Mallrats) prefers the company of his beloved goat, Liza, to that of people…and he’d do anything for her. When a Hollywood film crew starts shooting on location in the countryside of his small town, the cooperative and mild-mannered Thomas – a man of very few words – lands a gig as the director’s assistant. But when Liza ends up as lunch for the crew, he embarks on a merciless killing spree to avenge his dearly departed pet’s death … and has a few choice words for his victims.

Thanks, Inception Media Group!

...review coming very soon...

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Movie Review: 5 Souls (2011)

5 Souls
5 Souls - Poster Image

Written by Colet Abedi
Directed by Brett Donowho

Noah...Ian Bohen
Sam...Steve Bacic
Sara Walters...Allison McAtee
Bickman...Charles Solomon, Jr.

Following an adverse reaction to a series of inoculations, Noah falls into a coma. He awakens--or at least thinks he does--to find a devil-in-disguise at the foot of his bed. The man tells Noah that he is going to die...unless he kills five strangers to collect their souls. Noah, desperate as he is, agrees.

Meanwhile, obsessive alcoholic Sam and his lusty new love Detective Sara Walters are investigating the collapse of another building by the industrious Mr. Bidwell. As this seems to be a theme with Bidwell buildings, one has to wonder how he keeps getting away with it. Sam and Sara are wondering the same thing.

5 Souls - Awakening From A Coma

They are two distinct but intertwining storylines that compete with each other for attention. That is part of the film's weakness, as for the majority of the running time, it feels as if you're watching two different movies on a single screen. They don't mesh together expertly enough to be a cohesive whole, despite the fact that both storylines hold some elements of interest.

The performances are decent, but not strong enough to hang the movie on. There's not enough action or excitement to hold sustained interest, either. I made it through one viewing easily enough, but I can't ever imagine sitting through it again.

"You're going to kill for me, so I don't have to."
--J/Metro

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

From The Dead Letter Office

Heya Hipsters!

Long time no see.  I know that I've been fairly inactive around here lately, but things always slow down on the blog during the summer.  My wife is a teacher, so after school lets out I spend more time with her and less time geeking out on horror flicks.  But rest assured that things will be winding back up to their normal keel soon, and Midnite Media will hopefully be better than ever.

And on a side note, we're less than three months away from Halloween.  I'm already thinking about the impending annual 24-Hour Blogathon, and what film franchise I might be covering this year... decisions, decisions.

See you soon!
--J/Metro

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