Monday, August 26, 2013

Movie Review: Silent But Deadly (2011)

Silent But Deadly
Silent But Deadly - DVD cover image

Written by Lori Kelly, David Pluscaskas, Joel Plue & Erin Berry
Directed by Stephen Scott

Thomas...Jason Mewes
Sandra...Kim Poirier
Bobby...Marc Hickox
Sheriff Shelby...Jordan Prentice

Thomas is a slow-witted farmboy whose only friend is his pet goat Lisa. After falling ass-backwards into a personal assistant gig with a movie crew filming in his rural town, Thomas loses the only thing he loved when Lisa wanders into the craft services tent and becomes dinner. Utilizing a number of unorthodox implements, Thomas sets off on a killing spree in search of goat vengeance.

The title alone should give you some hint of what you're in for in this movie--primarily a lot of crude and juvenile humor, spaced out by the occasional death scene. It opens on a gratuitous lesbian love scene and it's all downhill from there, relying on racially insensitive (and not even amusing) jokes, toilet talk, and overall immature activity.

Silent But Deadly - Jason Mewes as Thomas

I wanted to like this movie, although I knew full well that I would not. I like Jason Mewes, not only from his Kevin Smith flicks but also from their podcasts together, but not even my desire to see him succeed could save this mess from self-destruction. Mewes' performance wasn't bad, actually, though he was mostly silent, save for the occasional grunting of his next weapon of choice--"pitchfork" or "delicatessen meat slicer", for instance. Marc Hickox and Kim Poirier were also good, doing what they could with the material at hand.

For the record, I'm not against crude humor or horror comedies so long as they are, you know...funny. With Silent but Deadly, though, I never LOL'ed, never guffawed, never chortled, never snickered, never giggled. Hell, I never even grinned. All of the humor fell flat for me, and the only time I was ever amused was during the death scenes.

Silent But Deadly - William Sadler, pitchforked

The death scenes are the only thing this movie has to offer. They are over-the-top, creative, and bloody as hell, much in the vein of Hatchet or Simon Says. Yes, they were obviously achieved through bargain-bin CGI, but they were still pretty fantastic.

It's just too bad we had to wade through so much sewage to get to the shit we wanted to see.

Special thanks to Inception Media Group for the screener!
Silent But Deadly releases on DVD & VOD September 24, 2013.

2011
Not Rated
80 Minutes
English
Color
Canada

--J/Metro

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