Wednesday, November 21, 2012

From The Archives: TV Horror

While searching through my Archives, I found an undated scrap of paper with the following scrawled on it.  I think I was somewhere in my 'teens when I wrote it, and I have no idea where it was going or if it was intended to be part of a longer piece.  However, I thought it was kind of amusing.

Am I the only one who wonders what would have happened if THE LOVE BOAT had sailed into the Bermuda Triangle?  If GILLIGAN'S ISLAND had gone the way of LORD OF THE FLIES?  If THE BRADY BUNCH had moved into AMITYVILLE?  It would have made the sudden appearance of Cousin Oliver much more believable.  What if THE SMURFS had eaten their mushroom houses and tripped out?  What if SCOOBY DOO caught rabies, and what if the monsters were real? What if MY THREE SONS were the Melendez brothers?  What if I DREAM OF JEANNIE and BEWITCHED crossed over for a torrid lesbian love affair, and had their husbands whacked?  So that's what happened to Darren Number One.  What if Eddie Munster had joined Herman in CAR 54?  What if Mrs. Garrett had taught the real FACTS OF LIFE?  What if MR. ED and FRANCIS THE TALKING MULE had a fight to the death?
I would watch a lot more TV


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