Friday the 13th Part 10: Jason X
Written by Todd Farmer
Directed by James Isaac
Kay-Em 14-Lisa Ryder
Oh, New Line Cinema, how could you sink so low? You've turned the Friday The 13th franchise into a frothy blend of ridiculous futurism and self-parody. You already sent Jason to Hell, couldn't you have just left him there? Did you really have to send him into space, too?
The film starts off at the Crystal Lake Research Facility, where Jason Voorhees is stung up and awaiting cryogenic suspension in lieu of execution. Just before he is sent into deep freeze, Jason escapes and slaughters a small battalion of soldiers and scientists. Our heroine, Dr. Rowan, leads Jason into the cryo-chamber where she puts him into suspended animation, accidentally suspending herself along with him.
Flash forward to the year 2455, when the planet has become a desolate wasteland uninhabitable by mankind. A class of students taking a field trip from the distant planet of Earth 2 stumbles upon the facility where Jason and Rowan still sit frozen after all these years. Seeking fame and money, the class teacher Professor Lowe drags them aboard their spaceship, where he and his students revive Rowan and dissect Jason for study.
Jason reanimates himself while under the knife, however, and he takes the old slice-and-dice routine through the vacuum of space, taking out an entire team of professional soldiers in an extended scene that looks like a WB sponsored game of Laser Tag. Rowan and Professor Lowe's class don't fare much better and they have to find a way to kill the resurrected Jason before they reach their home planet.
And just when you thought it couldn't get anymore ridiculous, Kay-Em (the android sex kitten) emerges as a dominatrix terminator who thinks she's one of Charlie's original Angels and blows Jason into puddles of putrid debris. His remains fall into the "upgrade chamber," though, and before long he's back once again as--I kid you not--UBER-JASON!
At this point, I literally had to put my head down for a while. I wish it got better, but it doesn't.
There are exploding space stations, space walks, and Jason even takes a stroll through the Holodeck. And after sitting through 90 minutes of this twaddle, we're given an ending that suggests even Earth 2 has a Crystal Lake, and no world would be complete without a Jason Voorhees.
The bottom line is that this was obviously the brainchild of someone with too much money and not enough brains. When you place a character who is grounded in reality (in the reality of Hollywood, anyway) and modern times, then toss him into outer space of the future, you're admitting defeat. Better just to give up the ghost. At least until Freddy comes knocking. Best thing I can say about this film is that they killed the annoying Azrael off early (think: bastard love child of Pauly Shore and Jesse Camp.)