Thursday, July 21, 2011

The New Kids (1985)

The New Kids

Written by Stephen Gyllenhaal
Directed by Sean S. Cunningham

Loren...Shannon Presby
Abby...Lori Laughlin
Uncle Charlie...Eddie Jones
Gideon...John Philbin
Dutre...James Spader

After the death of their parents, Army Brats Loren and Abby relocate to Florida to live with their Uncle Charlie and Aunt Fay, proprietors of the Santa's Fun Land tourist trap. Being the new kids in school, they attract a lot of attention, especially Cathy, who becomes the lusty target of Gideon and Dutre, a pair of sleazy locals who make a bet on who can bed the babe first.

When she rejects their advances, things turn ugly. Dutre and his pals strike out against Fun Land, requiring retribution from Loren. It becomes an increasingly violent back-and-forth, like a bloody game of tag, hitting all the usual notes and culminating in the expected man-against-the-mob scenario.

The whole Santa's Fun Land setting was a strange choice, and didn't add anything to the story (although it was a pretty cool locale for the final showdown). Still, there was some decent acting and surprising faces in the cast. James Spader looks like a rockabilly albino here, while Lori Laughlin looks mighty fine in her short shorts and shower scene. Who knew Aunt Becky was such a hottie!?

Plenty of action keeps this flick rolling along and a good clip, and although it's not likely to win a spot on any top ten lists, it's well worth a watch if just because it was directed by Sean Cunningham of Friday the 13th fame, eschewing the slasher genre in favor of a survivalist/revenge fusion.

One scene you will definitely want to look out for has some deep homosexual undertones: James Spader's character, clad only in the briefest of bikini briefs, is rudely awakened in the middle of the night by Loren for what is either a mugging or a raping. And my money was on the latter.

Rated R
86 Minutes
United States


1 comment:

  1. Was Lori Laughlin that chick who played John Stamos' girlfriend from FULL HOUSE? I could look it up myself but I'm just too damn lazy. Neat pick, though - I've seen this one cropping up all over the place. It's going through a resurgence of sorts, apparently.


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