Friday, June 17, 2011

Coffin Rock (2009)

Coffin Rock

Written & Directed by Rupert Glasson

Rob...Robert Taylor
Jessica...Lisa Chappell
Evan...Sam Parsonson

Married couple Rob and Jessica have been trying to conceive for nearly two years, and she has a keepsake box full of "negative" tests to prove it (which she literally throws in his face from time to time).  Rocked by the strain that this puts on their relationship, Jessica gets drunk at the crustacean races one night (that's right...the crustacean races), and gives it up sloppy to Evan, the young drifter who has been hanging around her property a little too often to be innocent.

Shortly afterward, Jessica is pregnant with what seems to be a miracle child.  Everyone believes that she and Rob have somehow beat the odds, but Jessica knows the truth.  What's more, Evan knows the truth...and he's got fantasies of settling down with his new family for a happy suburban life.

It's just too bad that the guy is a little on the loony side, talking and stalking dangerously through Rob and Jessica's life, unknowable violence lurking just beneath the surface.

Coffin Rock sounds like the title of a bloody Western, or maybe a rural horror film.  In actuality, it's a slow-paced thriller with very few thrills.  Had we not seen this sort of thing dozens of times over, it may have been a more impressive movie, but as it stands, it brings nothing new to the table.  It is, in essence, just an outback rehash of Fatal Attraction and many other of its ilk, with a gender-reversal.  Hell, there's even a baby kangaroo to take the place of the rabbit!  Every twist that the movie took, we saw it coming miles ahead of time, and never had need to grab hold of the "oh shit!" handles.

Not a terrible movie, but not a great one either.  Just another easily forgotten movie that blends into its surroundings like a karma chameleon--but with funny accents.


Not Rated
92 Minutes

"Be careful what you wish for..."

1 comment:

  1. I enjoyed this one quite a lot.
    Far from being a masterpiece, but waaay better than I expected


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