Sunday, October 31, 2010

More 1980s Monster Kid Memories


Last year at this time, I listed a few of MY cherished Monster Kid Memories (read HERE).  Well, it's Halloween again, and that means it's time for MORE Monster Kid Memories.  How many of them do you share?


The Boglins were released in the 1980s, and I went absolutely ape shit when I first saw their commercial on TV.  They were rubbery, demonic handpuppets that reminded me, at the time, of Ghoulies--specifically Ghoulies 2, which I used to watch on cable every time it was on.  The packaging (shown above) was killer, and if you were careful when you opened them on Christmas morning, you would still have a neat little cage to keep the bastards in when it wasn't busy scaring your little sister Susie.

Haunted House

When I was a kid, we didn't have the interwebs, and as such we didn't have any fancy-pants MMPORG games like World of Warcraft or Samurai Soldiers of Ape Island.  But what we did have was the Atari 2600, a 2-bit cartridge-based gaming system that made me the coolest kid in the neighborhood.  Well, the coolest kid in my house, anyway.  When my sister was gone.  There were dozens of "scary" games for the Atari, but the one that I spent the most time playing was Haunted House.  I mean, look at those steallar graphics!  Using the squeaky joystick, you would maneuver your way through a dark house, avoiding bats and other creepy crawlies.  You were represented by a pair of floating eyeballs, because Atari games operate in the same world as cartoons, meaning that eyes glow in the dark.  But in order to really see anything around you, you had to light a match, which came in handy for locating the pieces of a broken urn.  For whatever reason.  For anyone interested, you can play this game for free online HERE.

Toxic Crusaders

When I was 11, I was right at the maturity level needed to be a fan of Troma's unique brand of film.  Unfortunately, Mama Metro thought their movies were a bit too extreme for my sensitive psyche, so I was thrilled when Toxic Crusaders hit the airwaves in 1991 (which is past the 1980s threshold, but close enough for government work, as my pappy used to always say).  Sure, it was watered-down and hammered an enviornmental message down my impressionable throat, but it was TOXIE!  On Saturday morning!  And he brought with him a whole legion of mutant freaks!  The series even spawned a series of action figures (which I collected, natch!) and a video game...which isn't bad, considering the network pulled the plug after only five episodes.

Monster Cereal
Franken Berry.  Count Chocula.  Boo Berry.  What's not to love!?  Boo Berry was always a cool cat, with his jaunt hat and happening little bow-tie (Boo-tie?), but his cereal was a bit too putridly sweet for my discerning pallete.  As a child, I preferred the taste of Franken Berry, although I thought it was a travesty that they painted this brute of a patchwork man a very lady-like pink.  That would have been better suited for the Bride of Franken Berry...although I'm not sure that women are really his bag, if you catch my drift.  Mr. Berry is still my favorite character, although in my adult years I have begun primarily to dig the chocolatey goodness of Count Chocula.  And yes, I still I buy some every October, when they return from the dead and haunt the shelves at my local grocery store.

Friday Night Frights
Hosted by the creepy guy above--one Mr. Edmus Scarey--I used to watch this horror movie show on Friday nights when growing up in Phoenix.  He seemed like such a cool ghoul, someone that I would have liked to hang out with...until he went to prison for fondling little boys.  Reading the article detailing this in the local paper really screwed up my head, and made me question everything I thought I knew.  And if my information is right, he's recently returned to prison for violating the conditions of his patrol.  Kind of brings a whole different level of creepy to the proceedings, doesn't it?  I guess all Monster Memories can't be warm and fuzzy.  You sick fuck.



  1. there was a forth cereal it was a wolf and fruit... i wore the mask i saved box tops for and 2.95 for shipping in the late seventies... what the hell was it...
    great post!

  2. J2: How could anyone NOT love Boglins?

    iZombie: I believe you're thinking of Fruit Brute. You had a mask? That thing would probably be worth a small fortune today!



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