Sunday, October 31, 2010

A Halloween Meme


1. What is the worst treat to get when trick-or-treating?

Probably an apple with a razor blade in it.  But the worst treats that I actually got myself when trick-or-treating would probably be those boring-ass peppermint candies.  Way to go, big spender!  What are those, two for a penny?

2. What character from any horror film would you most like to play?

That guy in the slasher flick who inevitably dies while having sex.  Because that's how every guy wants to go...minus the machete to the head, of course.

3. Would you rather be a zombie, alien, or psycho? (why)

A psycho, definitely.  But not one of those silent stalking types, a la Michael Meyers and Jason Voorhees.  More like an obnoxious, chain-smoking, wise-cracking hipster sort of psycho, who is more of a dick than anything else.  Like a genetic amalgamation of Jack Kerouac, Otis Driftwood and Seth Green.  Yeah, that would totally be me.

4. How many Halloween, Friday the 13th, or Nightmare on Elm Street movies combined do you have on dvd?

Fuck me, you're asking me to do math?  Better get out the old calculator watch:  Let's see, I have ALL of these films on one format or another, but JUST on DVD?  Halloween (original) 1 & 2, Halloween 1(remake), Nightmare on Elm Street (original) 1-7; Freddy Vs. Jason...umm....what are we up to?  Six?  Let's go with six.

5. What is the scariest movie you have ever seen?

That's a hard one.  I used to do a LOT of camping, so Blair Witch Project always freaked me out.  The first time I watched Evil Things, it creeped me out in the middle of the day...which is pretty impressive.  Henry:  Portrait of a Serial Killer never fails to make me feel dirty afterwards.  And the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre always leaves me with an underlying sense of unease...which doesn't sound like much, but it lasts a lot longer and is much more difficult to do than all of those jump scares and easy shocks that prevail in most horror films today.

6. Lamest costume you have worn on Halloween?

When I was 4 or 5 or so, I actually dressed up as a Smurf.  Blue body paint, white tights and floppy white stocking cap, the whole bit.  I have a photograph locked up somewhere, and no, you can't see it.  This is actually the first time I've ever admitted that to anyone.  Why are you laughing?  Whoever told me it felt good to open up is gonna get a good ol' fashioned backhand.

7. Favorite Halloween treat?

Reeses Peanut Butter Pumpkins.  Mmmmmm....peanut butter....

8. Friendly-faced jack o’lantern or scary one?

Scary.  Friendly-faced jack o'lanterns are for....friendly people.  Or is that people with friends?  Either way, they're not for me.

9. Have you ever had nightmares about a scary movie character chasing you?

Well, it's not a character from a scary movie but it is a scary least he was to me.  I used to have recurring dreams about being chased by the Incredible Hulk when I was a youngster--the Lou Ferrigno version.  One of my older cousins had convinced me that every time they sounded the Test of the Emergency Broadcast System on TV, it meant that the Incredible Hulk had escaped, and it pretty much wrecked my frail little psyche.  Eventually, I somehow befriended the Hulk and we sat down at the kitchen table and put a jigsaw puzzle together.  I never dreamed of that crazy bastard again.

10. Best thing about Halloween?

The fact that, for one month out of a year, my fringe interests are accepted by the mainstream.  Or is that the worst thing about Halloween?  I don't know anymore.

11. Strangest Halloween custom you’ve heard of?

Those churches setting up Christian 'Hell Houses', where they exploit real life horrors in an attempt to 'scare' people into religion.  I guess it makes sense, though.  They've been co-opting major holidays since the beginning of time, so why not Halloween, too?

12. Person in your family who most likes Halloween (not counting yourself)?

Well, all of my immediate family are extremely religious and moved to Alaska to be closer to the Lord...or something.  They pretty much condemn Halloween (and the majority of my other peronal interests) as secular sins and pagan festivities.  So I guess I would have to say my wife, and really, she doesn't get all that excited about it.

13. Are you superstitious? If so, name at least one superstition of yours.

I'm not blatantly superstitious, where I'll avoid walking under ladders or go out of my way to avoid stepping on a crack lest I break my poor mama's back, but I do tend to make connections in my mind between events that probably don't actually exist, convincing myself of some sort of significance.  Does that count?



  1. 01. chocolate candy coins..
    02. anyone that lives in the end.
    03. zombie.
    04. 10 maybe 12.
    05. race with the devil.
    06. mrs. roeper, three's company.
    07. dark milkyways [got some].
    08. scary.
    09. freddy in my high school, but we became friends and i helped him do his killings.
    10. horror movie overload.
    11. used condom.
    12. crap i am the only one.
    13. yes, ladders and pick a penny up.

  2. Mrs.Roeper? Now THAT'S ballsy. Believe it or not, I WANTED to dress up as Mr. Furley one year, but it never panned out.


  3. i am not what had transpired to make that happen, but full make-up, moo-moo and red wig... i was hot... i thought furley rocked...



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