Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Voodoo Black Exorcist (1973)

Voodoo Black Exorcist


Written by Santiago Moncada
Directed by Manuel Cano

Gatanebo...Aldo Sambrell
Kenya...Alexander Abrahan
Inspector Dominguez...Ferdinand Sancho
Dr. Kessling...Alfred May
Sylvia...Eva Lion

An African man and woman swim through the ocean, coming to rest happily in each other’s arms while beautiful music plays in the background. Sounds like a gentle love story, doesn’t it? Until the woman’s husband comes along, attacks the man, and is killed. The woman is then beheaded for her sins, and the man—a tribal prince—is entombed alive (following a raucous, topless, orgiastic ceremony, of course.)

Flash forward some centuries later to “modern day.” We know it’s modern day because we’re shown still photos of technological wonders like satellites and skyscrapers, and the tribal drums have been replaced with some ooky psychedelic rock music. The Prince’s sarcophagus has been exhumed and transferred to a cruise ship for transport to America. The Prince, deep in slumber, is none too happy about this disrespect, however, and emerges undead to wreak vengeance on the high seas.


 It’s an uninspired take on The Mummy to be sure, with poor acting, an annoying voice-over narration by the Prince himself, piss-poor special effects and an overuse of flashbacks to scenes that we’ve already lived through once, this time shown through a heavy red filter. The ridiculous overacting of the psychic Ms. Thorndike is enough to drive you mad. All in all, I started dozing 40 minutes into this stinker, and I think I’m still there.

I’ll bet Mrs. Thorndike didn’t see that one coming.

1973
Rated R
84 minutes
Color
Spain
Spanish (with English dubbed)

--J/Metro

3 comments:

  1. Aaaah, yes, this was a severely moldy turd, indeed. I, too, struggled to stay awake during it.

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  2. It literally put me to sleep on my first try, but it was late in the evening. But I persevered and found some unintentionally hilarious stuff in it, like Gatenabo's epic battle with a firehose-wielding security guard, and the urgency with which the monster races back from his latest murder so he can be inside his sarcophagus for the professor's live broadcast from the museum. VBE doesn't get enough credit for how stupefyingly bad it really is.

    ReplyDelete
  3. So bad it should come with a warning that it's sure to kill braincells.

    ReplyDelete

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