Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Five Prop Replicas That Don't Exist...But Should

1) Necronomicon Kindle Book Cover (Evil Dead series)
With my ongoing chronological journey through the work of H.P. Lovecraft--all performed on my Kindle--this idea struck me as particularly cool. The perfect blending of the ancient and the modern...sorcery and science. Imagine flipping open the Necronomicon and reading about the Necronomicon. Or a digital Harlequin Romance. Whatever floats your boat.

2) Watchmen Babies Comic Book (The Simpsons)
I know this was intended as a one-off joke that took Alan Moore's worst fears into ridiculous proportions... but come on. What diehard Watchmen fan wouldn't cough up some hard-earned scratch for this? The Simpsons already have their own comic book line, so is this really that far fetched? Will somebody please set up a tête-à-tête  between the Bongo and DC bigwigs?  (That's right...I actually used the phrase tête-à-tête in a sentence.  And properly, I might add.)

3) Nudie Girl Jigsaw Puzzle (Pieces)
At the beginning of this cheeser, a young child is interrupted by his overbearing mother while assembling this puzzle (or, in the Latin, Puzzelus Interuptus), sending him off on a murderous rampage in later years. A replica of this puzzle couldn't be too hard to create, and would make a great gift for the horror fan that has everything. But I'm torn. Should the missing pieces be included, or left out to stay true to the source?

4) Frankenhooker Blueprints (Frankenhooker)
I'm not sure if these plans even still exist, but how fucking cool would it be to have these framed and hanging on your living room wall?  And no, I wouldn't try to put them to use. At least, not until my loving wife is killed in some freak lawncare accident.

5) Red Apple Cigarettes (Pulp Fiction)
These days, smoking cigarettes is the social equivalent of dropping trou in the middle of a crowded resturaunt and releasing a steamer on the carpet. Yet drinking alcohol is still acceptable--hell, it's even encouraged--because, as people say, there's no such thing as 'Second Hand Drink'.  Which is a damn lie, if you've ever known anyone killed in a drunk driving accident.  Sounds like second-hand drinking to me.  But I digress. My point is that I'm a bit of an old school cat, and I remember those days, not all that long ago, when men were men and smoking was a sure-fire sign of badassery. And you know who was a badass? Butch from Pulp Fiction. And I...I wanna be like Butch! Even if QT doesn't want to get into the tobacco industry, I would welcome a cigarette case that just looks like a Red Apple pack. I may be asking a lot, but I'm not choosy.

What say you?
--J/Metro

HorrorBlips: vote it up!

6 comments:

  1. I would buy that Kindle cover today. That would rock so very hard.

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  2. I'd be in for the Frankenhooker blueprints. In fact, I'm starting to question how I can continue to rock without them.

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  3. Travis Bickle's handgun holster thing he made from a desk drawer that *shnik* snaps into his hand. Or, maybe I shouldn't have said that out loud.

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  4. Nows your chance to remake the Frankenhooker blueprints and live like a king!! A king!!

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  5. I found this page looking for a Necronomicon kindle cover! Someone make this so I can buy it.

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  6. back in the 70s, my father had a jigsaw puzzle kind of like the one pictured. when he wasnt around i put it together and was pretty bummed to see the all important missing pieces! lol
    i havent thought about that in a very long time.

    anyway, i also found this site looking for the necronomicon from the evil dead series

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