Monday, October 26, 2009

Night Fangs (2005)

 Night Fangs

Written & Directed by Ricardo Islas

Lupe...Cyn Dulay
Jennifer...Leslie Frank
Amy...Ruby Gonzales
Steve...Mark Edwards

Lupe and Jennifer are lesbian lovers and art teachers who want to live forever. In their quest for immortality, they meet and seduce a local hornball on the internet, and then kill him. They then proceed to bathe in his blood, just like their historical hero Elizabeth Bathory. But when they stumble upon Bathory’s lost diaries, they learn what they had been doing wrong. Their victims must be virgins. Where the hell are you going to find one of those in this day and age? The girls choose a talented and sexually confused student named Amy to fill their tub, but her boyfriend Steve and his bumbling group of cohorts decide to pull a Hardy Boys and stop this heinous crime from happening. But can they?

Probably. Persistence seems to be able to overcome any obstacle, as this film proves. A mediocre concept? A terrible script? An inept crew? A cast of no-name, no-talent nobodies? Shoddy special effects and a budget lower than President Bush’s approval rating? Fuck all that! We’re still making a movie! (If you can call it that.)

This ultra-cheap, straight-to-video hogwash is practically unwatchable. Save for one fairly disturbing scene involving a nipple and a pair of fangs, there’s not a lick of competency to be found here anywhere. The characters are at best vaguely attractive, although we’re supposed to believe they find each other extremely desirable. And the lesbian love scenes—which could feasibly be the only remaining draw to some of you pervos out there—are stiff and awkward as opposed to stiffening and arousing, and obviously neither of the participants wanted any part of it, if not for the false promise of cash and exposure, both of which amount to the same small pile of pocket change. The “twist” ending is more of a twitch, only granting this film a momentary illusion of life.

Avoid this one like the plague.



View the trailer below!


2005
Rated R
Color
English
United States

Night Fangs is currently ranked #82,939 in DVD's at Amazon.com. Read more about it at the IMDB, rent it at Netflix, or buy it today!

--J/Metro

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