Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Supergirl: The Director's Cut

Supergirl: The Director’s Cut
Written by David Odell
Directed by Jeannot Szwarc

Zaltar...Peter O'Toole
Ethan...Hart Bochner
Kara/Linda/Supergirl...Helen Slater
Lucy Lane...Maureen Teefy

Contrary to popular belief, when the planet Krypton exploded all those years ago, Kal-El (AKA Clark Kent AKA Superman) was not the only survivor. His cousin Kara (AKA Linda Lee AKA Supergirl) has also survived and has been living in a floating city deep in space. When she accidentally loses the city’s primary energy source—a very magic 8 ball indeed—she jacks a space pod and follows it to earth.

The orb falls into the hands (err…the cheese dip) of a few bitter witches who use its powers to fuel their plot for world domination. Needing an inconspicuous base of operations, Supergirl joins an all-girl prep-school where she—surprise, surprise—rooms with Lois Lane’s sloppy sister Lucy, and gets bullied by the real-life equivalent of Charles Schultz’s Marcy and Peppermint Patty.

When a love spell goes wrong, Supergirl and the witches finally cross paths, apparently the desire for world domination being overridden by the desire to get laid.

Don’t expect any Superman cameos here. He is, according to the film, on a peace keeping mission in a galaxy “several hundred trillion light years away.” Superman’s pal Jimmy Olsen does make an appearance, however, and is apparently knocking boots with little Lucy Lane.

It seems strange that this film received a deluxe DVD edition. The plot is thin, the special effects are cornball, and the attempts to tie this movie into the Superman franchise are blatant and painfully obvious, although it fails to include some staples from said franchise—i.e., Kryptonite and Superman/Supergirl’s crippling weakness to magic (which was touched upon but not to the effect it should have been, considering the villains were witches.) And, for some reason, there’s an “Escape From The Phantom Zone” routine which seems ganked directly from Greek Mythology.

You won’t be seeing this on anyone’s Christmas list anytime soon, unless of course you’re willing to drop good money to see Helen Slater in ho boots and a short skirt.

And, let’s face it. Most of us are. You gotta love that chicken!


For the fanatical, the comic-book completist, and the so-geek-it’s-chic believers only.


View the trailer below!


1984
Rated PG
138 Minutes
Color
United Kingdom
English

Supergirl is currently ranked #36,261 in DVD's at Amazon.com. Read more about it at the IMDB, rent it at Netflix, or buy it today!

"What's a dingleberry?"
--J/Metro

3 comments:

  1. Yes the movie is downright awful, but boy does Helen Slater look hit in that Supergirl outfit. That's right...I said it! =)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Helen Slater, the only true highlight of this dreadful Superman spin-off. Superman does make a cameo though, in a poster on Supergirls dorm room wall!

    ReplyDelete
  3. FC: I must have missed that Superman "cameo". Of course, if Helen Slater was in the scene, then my eyes were glued to her.

    --J/Metro

    ReplyDelete

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