Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Ghost Lake (2004)

Ghost Lake
Written & Directed by Jay Woelfel

Rebecca Haster.... Tatum Adair
Stan James.... Timothy Prindle
Sheriff Dobbs.... Gregory Lee Kenyon
Flora.... Azure Sky Decker

When Rebecca decides to go out for a night on the town, a well-deserved break from caring for her ailing parents, tragedy strikes at her home. While she’s in the backseat of her car fucking a total stranger, they are busy dying a horrible death at the hands of a natural gas leak. Once the funerals are done and over with, Rebecca attempts to go back to her life as usual, but she’s overwhelmed with grief and guilt. Hoping to escape these haunting feelings, she flees to Rushford Lake, where her family used to spend their summers during happier times, but once she arrives, the haunting only becomes real. Luckily she falls into the arms of Stan, yet another total stranger, who can protect her…just so long as the police aren’t around.

According to local legend, every thirteen years on the thirteenth day of the month, somebody dies in the lake and their body disappears. Rebecca’s arrival at the lake meets up with the demise of the thirteenth such victim. Hmm…the thirteenth victim to die every thirteen years on the thirteenth day of the month. That’s a lot of bad numerology, and this combination of unlucky numbers culminates in an exodus of the dead.

Sound impressive? It’s not. Only Rebecca and Stan have the smallest iota of acting ability, while the rest of the cast, big and small, recite their lines like a third graders school pageant. The whole back story of the haunted lake is convoluted and unclear, making it difficult to make heads or tails of the past. The characters themselves aren’t even very likable—Rebecca seems quite promiscuous and possibly delusional—while the special effects are shoddy and cheap.

I will give it this: Ghost Lake delivers all the chills you would expect to find in a low-budget, no-talent film that relies too heavily on quick cuts, slow dissolves, split screen (!) action, squeaky wheelchairs, dying flashlights, poorly done CGI, and the old “is it real or is it a fantasy” fake-out. Which is, namely, no chills at all.

There were a number of deep philosophical moments, however, which I would like to share with you now. I mean, where else could you find gems like: “You don’t have to be alone to be lonely,” or “Reality can be magic,” and, my personal favorite, “Some people like to be depressed and alone, just so they can be alone and depressed.”

Wow…I think you just blew my mind.

Rated R
111 minutes
United States

Ghost Lake is currently ranked #69,714 in DVDs at Read more about it at the IMDB, rent it at Netflix, or buy it today!

"Understanding it doesn't matter. Surviving it does."

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