Tuesday, April 7, 2009

[Cryptopopology] Unused Freddy Vs. Jason Script #4

Freddy Vs. Jason
Written by Jonathon Aibel & Glenn Berger
Unseen Cinema Script Review

This unused script for Freddy Vs. Jason (labeled December 1, 1998; Third Draft) is a contrived, dull piece of postmodern horror in the same vein as Scream and I Know What You Did Last Summer. Fans of both series would have been greatly disappointed, and more importantly, a bit confused.

The lead characters here are Lizzie Daniels, who the script describes as "beautiful in a girl-next-door-who-sometimes-likes-to-dress-like-a-tramp kind of way" and her boyfriend Jason Lucas, a high school jock who just happens to share the first name of the titular serial killer. When Lizzie's mother is out of town, she has her boyfriend come over for a night of drinking and hot sex. The drinking gets in the way, however, and she passes out before the hot sex can be dished out in full.

While she's sleeping it off, Freddy Krueger bursts into her bedroom and begins to terrorize her. Right away, something is obviously out-of-synch here. Freddy's glove, for some reason, doubles as a flame thrower and the usual dream logic doesn't seem to apply. Everything is a bit too real to be a typical Freddy nightmare, and besides, in this world the Nightmare On Elm Street movies were only movies.

After scaring the wits out of Lizzie and killing an inept security guard, Freddy Krueger is wrestled to the ground by a whole squad of police officers. They remove a rubber mask from his face and we see that it isn't Freddy Krueger at all but a young impersonator by the name of Dominic Necros. But as they haul Necros away, he promises Lizzie that it isn't over, that Freddy wants her dead.

Lizzie is of course distraught. When she sleeps, she has vivid nightmares in which the real Freddy chases her out of the house and into Camp Crystal Lake where Jason Voorhees from Friday The 13th (also just movies in this reality) saves her just in the nick of time. Lizzie's mother takes her to a sleep clinic where the doctor prescribes Somnambulene, an experimental drug that keeps the user in a continued state of dream. He believes that the only way to defeat these nightmares is to confront them head on and see them through.

Any side effects? Oh, just the usual: diarrhea, headache, dry mouth, sharing dreams with other people in the room who have also taken the drug. Makes sense, doesn't it?

Lizzie, Jason Lucas and a handful of their friends decide to get away from it all and spend the night at an abandoned summer camp near a local lake. Looking for the next great high, they spike their drinks with the Somnambulene, and for the next large chunk of the film we have no idea if what's going on is real, a shared nightmare or just members of the group trying to frighten the others, which they do repeatedly.

As luck would have it, the Friday The 13th films were based on a real killer and his murders all took place at the very same camp where Lizzie and her friends are spending the night. Dominic Necros somehow escapes from FBI custody and comes after them at the camp. Using his Freddy Glove replica, he tears Jason Lucas's heart from his chest and drops it into the lake.

Coincidentally enough, the heart sinks to the bottom of the lake and lands in the chest cavity of a rotting skeleton that belongs to the real Jason Voorhees. It begins to beat again and his body regenerates itself. He rises to the surface of the lake and proceeds to raise his patented brand of hell.

Through another dream sequence, we come to learn that Jason Voorhees was abused by Freddy Krueger when he was a child, and every time Jason kills someone he's actually trying to get revenge on Freddy. Wait a minute, you say? You thought Freddy Krueger was supposed to be just a movie character in this reality? Well, so did I. Don't dwell on it too much because the script never offers any real answers.

In the end, Lizzie promises that he can help Jason Voorhees in order to save her own life. She gives him a dose of the Somnambulene and sends him into La La Land where Freddy Krueger is waiting for him. The battle is brief and uninspired, ending with Freddy being impaled and Jason having his heart ripped out once again by Freddy's glistening glove.

The end.

All we can do is thank the good Lord that this script was rejected. Not only was it chock full of logic holes but it was also unfaithful to both franchises. The characters, for the most part, were wooden and one dimensional and Freddy--the few times he actually was in the film--had some of the most uninspired dialogue imaginable:

"Welcome to your nightmare."
"You can't fight."
"Your arms are useless."
"You're going to die in this house."

No more of the wisecracks that made Freddy famous. No more of the wit that kept him the life of the party. And to top things off, in the finale of the film, Jason makes his dialogue debut: "Freddy's dead!" he shouts.

And the crowd...goes crazy?

--J/Metro

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