Sunday, March 15, 2009

Movie Review: Turistas (2006)

TURISTAS - 2006 Traveler Torture Porn

Written by Michael Ross
Directed by John Stockwell

Alex Trubituan...Josh Duhamel
Bea Trubituan...Olivia Wilde
Pru Stagler...Melissa George
Amy Harrington...Beau Garrett
Finn Davies...Desmond Askew
Liam Kuller...Max Brown

Three attractive young people head to Brazil for a little R ‘n’ R. When their bus almost crashes right off the edge of a cliff, they’re bonded by this near death experience to a few more attractive young people, and together they venture to a secretive bar on the beach where, surprise surprise, they hook up with even more attractive young people. After a night of partying, they awaken to find that they have been robbed and two of their new friends are missing. Miles from anywhere, they have no choice but to hike to the next town, where an incident sees them fleeing from an angry mob and right into the hands of a philosophical madman, who kidnaps turistas and harvests their organs for sale on the black market.

This Hostel clone has a promising beginning and it gets rolling more quickly than it’s Eli Roth-directed counterpart, but unlike Hostel (which actually gets better once the ‘horror’ starts), Turistas quickly loses momentum and becomes a great disappointment. The acting was well-done for the most part, and the actresses were scantily-clad and gorgeous, but the characters themselves weren't sufficiently fleshed out to excuse all of their useless yapping. Some of the less dramatic scenes seemed entirely too-drawn out, while the good scenes were too few and far between. Aside from a couple of great kills, and a fantastically realized and extremely tense underwater chase scene, too much of this seems like a slow motion watered-down rehash of carnage that we have already seen.

Only for the uninitiated, or the mind-numbingly bored.

96 minutes

Turistas, go home!

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