Monday, January 19, 2009

Movie Review: Slugs (1987)

Slugs
Slugs Movie 1987 [Midnite Media]
Written by José Antonio Escrivá and Ron Gantman
Directed by Juan Piquer Simón

Michael Garfield...Mike Brady
Kim Terry...Kim Brady
Philip MacHale...Don Palmer
Alicia Moro...Maureen Watson

Slugs: The Movie, as the title card states, as opposed to Slugs: The Broadway Play, or even Slugs: The Laundry Detergent.

I must admit, at first glance this film has a certain degree of credibility going for it: It's based on a best selling novel by British author Shaun Hutson, it features music by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, and it was produced by Francesca De Laurentiis, the daughter of the legendary Dino De Laurentiis. However, it's got a few strikes against it as well: namely, that it's called "Slugs", and the hero's name is Mike Brady.

No, not THAT Mike Brady, architect extraordinaire and father to legendary recording artist Johnny Bravo. This Mike Brady is the Health Inspector in the small town of Ashton (AKA the "armpit of America"), and is married to a hot little high school English teacher named Kim. He's the only person that has connected the dots in the string of mysterious deaths that has been spreading through the community. Well, maybe not dots...more like trails of slime.

You see, it's like this: an evil land developer is constructing a shopping center right on top of what was once a toxic landfill. When the construction crew broke ground, they also opened up a real can of worms--almost literally--unleashing a horde of big ass mutant slugs upon the unsuspecting populace.

It's not a great movie. It's not even a good movie. But it is a fun movie, and sometimes that's all you need. The acting ranges from passable to simply atrocious, and the dialogue is quite ridiculous at times--"You don't have the authority to declare Happy Birthday! Not in this town!"--and the characters are barely more defined than the slugs themselves, not to mention that townsfolk are introduced only to be killed off with such regularity that you don't feel that the primary cast is any real danger. But the death scenes, while silly in their own ways, really do deliver.

Highlights include a post-coital naked high school girl being consumed alive by hundred of slugs (not as hot as you might think), and a human eyeball exploding in a shower of blood and worms in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Truly a thing of beauty.

You know that movie Slither? It's like that movie's older brother, but not quite as handsome, and not nearly as good at sports.

1988
Rated R
92 Minutes
Color
Spain/USA
English

"Rat shit and maggot eggs!"
--J/Metro

3 comments:

  1. the naked girl the slugs devour had a great body, and noticce several slugs were on her buttcheeks

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is one of my all-time favorites!

    Let's just have a nice salad for dinner, honey.

    ReplyDelete
  3. We pretty much agreed in the exact same points! It's so bad it's hilarious. But the deaths deliver! How about that line where the guy says: "How about after I deal with these mutant slugs, we get naked and crazy?" Then of course he dies...which is such a cliche in films! The guy who is super happy, dies a couple of minutes later...always!

    ReplyDelete

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