Monday, January 26, 2009

Movie Review: Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker (2001)

Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker!
Written and Directed by Chris Seaver

Misty Donatuti...Mulva
Chris Seaver...Mr. Bonejack

The name Mulva comes from a now-classic Seinfeld episode, and this film comes to us from the folks at Low Budget Pictures--so we're not exactly expecting Oscar worthy material here...but this is borderline ridiculous.

A room full of comic book and horror movie memorabilia...a dog named Krypto...a possibly lobotomized teenage girl with terrible glasses and a haircut to match who eats a nice bowl of Frankenberry mixed with soda, sugar, Junior Mints and chocolate syrup for breakfast ("It's very refreshing!"). That's Mulva. And Mulva, unfortunately, is our heroine.

Mulva is going trick-or-treating for the first time since a traumatic incident involving a donut and a hot-dog (figure it out), and boy, is she excited about it. Little does she know that a group of real-life zombies are on the prowl and hungry for her flesh. Surely you're supposed to be rooting for Mulva...but I was praying that the zombies would tear out her throat, so I wouldn't have to hear her voice anymore.

The camera work is terrible...the acting is absolutely atrocious...the special effects are sub-sub-par...the character of Mulva is by far the most annoying person to be put on film since the early days of Jerry Lewis ("Hey, Laaadyyyy"). I'm not sure if the "black" character was supposed to be so-offensive-it's-funny, a la 'Family Guy', but it turns out to be so-stupid-it's-just-stupid--a mishmash of outdated racial sterotypes that are even less tolerable when you consider that it's white guy writer/director Chris Seaver in black face. Sure, Mulva gets her sweets, but what about the rest of us? Could they not have at least hired some eye candy for this film? Think the girl on the box looks pretty good? Me too...it's just too bad she's not in the film!

If I had to be nice, I would say that the rapid-fire pop-culture references were somewhat fun--and it does demonstrate that the filmmakers are big fans of the horror genre; and as much as I hate to admit it, the Benny Hill chase scene did make me chuckle a bit. A cameo by Lloyd Kaufman and some of Troma's cast of regulars may serve to "legitimize" this movie, but for the most part, it tried way too hard and had way too little talent behind it.

I've got mixed emotions about the whole Horror-Comedy genre of which Mulva belongs to. If done right, it can range from kind of enjoyable (Dead and Breakfast) to excellent (Shaun of the Dead). But, if done poorly, it can just come across as a cop-out: "Of course, it's terrible! It's supposed to be terrible! That's why it's funny! Get it!?"

No...I'm afraid I don't.

I give this Z-Grade cheezer an F.

2001
Unrated
59 Minutes
Color
United States
English

--J/Metro

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